why is it that when some people are sad and lonely,
they have the whole world comforting them.
and when others are sad and lonely,
they get abandoned,
slammed at by people who think they're just asking for attention.

in case you were wondering,
im not talking about myself.

im fine, really.
i'll be fine.

im fine because i know if i ever feel sad or lonely,
upset and unsafe,
i have my girlfriend.
and having her with me is the best thing i'd ever have in my whole lifetime.

thats why i say,
fuck my insecurities,
fuck my possessiveness.

i swore never to let jealousy, paranoia, insecurities, possessiveness get the better of me anymore.
not when it ate up the whole of me in the past.

because i know if i do,
it'll eat me up,
slowly, bit by bit.
and when im entirely gone,
it'll eat up our relationship as well.
and that includes kris.

i swore to myself before everything ever started,
to protect my beloved girlfriend from harm,
and to only give her happiness and all of me.

"but thats what you get for falling again,
you can never get them out of your head."

true, because i feel everything's creeping back to me over again.

ive been trying to deal with myself for the past few weeks.
i'll get better.
because ive got her,
and with her,
everything will get better.
i just know it.

and i love hugging our little chicken little 2 to bed
because i know out there at the other end,
you are there hugging our little chicken little 1 to bed as well.
it makes me sleep better,
and chases away my nightmares.
along with the little piggy you gave me.